On Sunday, April 3rd the unimaginable happened. My best friend, Crystal Dean, was called home to be with Jesus. Her passing was very sudden and without warning. If you follow my blog at all you will recognize her name as she was the friend who God brought into my life to walk with me through my infertility and adoption journey. As I have been preparing for her Memorial Service and reflecting on our friendship I wrote some memories down and thought I would share them here.
Crystal was my best friend. When we met she would tell you that she
thought I was pretty weird. But God knew
we needed each other and so our friendship began. I was in Room 3 and she was in Room 2. To this day when I visit Haley Elementary and
I walk by those rooms I can picture us both inside teaching Kindergarten. And truth be told taking multiple breaks
throughout the day to email each other funny things our students did and said.
One of the first things I remember about Crystal is that
although she had been a Christian for awhile she was excited to start taking
her faith more seriously. She shared
that she was recently baptized because she wanted the world to know how much
she loved Jesus and longed to follow him.
I find comfort today knowing she is with Jesus this very moment.
Crystal was the first friend I texted. Yes I am old enough to remember what life was
like before texting. She was at IKEA
buying supplies for her classroom when she sent me my first text with a picture
in it. Back then every text cost $ and
if you sent pictures it cost even more $.
Let’s just say we had to change our cell phone plans to accommodate our
growing friendship. At night while my
husband and I would be watching TV, my phone would start going off
crazily-notification after notification.
My husband wondered what was wrong.
Oh it’s just Crystal I said. We
text a lot and the message doesn’t fit in one text so it just carries over to
the next one. And the next one. And the next one. It’s a good thing plans today
come with unlimited texting!
As we got to know one another better we started sharing more
intimate parts of our lives. I shared
that we had been trying to have a baby for almost a year. She excitedly told me that she and her
husband were planning on trying to get pregnant soon as well. Two years later and not one positive
pregnancy test between the two of us we both found ourselves grateful for one
another’s support. It was Crystal’s
shoulder I cried on when I didn’t think I could handle another pregnancy
announcement or attend another baby shower.
I remember the day Crystal shared her excitement for
adoption with me. She had so much love
to share with a baby and was hopeful she could love a baby as her own-even if
it didn’t come from her own womb. Little
did I know that God would also plant a heart for adoption within me as well.
During the 2011-2012 school year, God granted our deepest
desires and longings: we both became Mommas.
My husband and I brought home our oldest son, Nathan in October of that
year and Ivy came in March. When we got
the call that a baby in Tucson had just been born and needed a home the first
person I called was Crystal. She
wondered why I was sobbing hysterically.
I vividly remember the day that Crystal learned she was
going to be a Mom. We were standing
outside of her room. I was talking
excitedly (and probably loudly) when I realized something was going on and it
wasn’t just a casual conversation between husband and wife over the phone. It was the day before spring break and parent
teacher conferences were scheduled for the afternoon. Crystal left for the hospital and I was
instructed to share with each one of her parents that an emergency had occurred
and Mrs. Dean would have to reschedule.
Oh how hard it was not to shout from the rooftops that there was no
emergency-my best friend was meeting her baby!
When I found out my husband and I would be moving back to
California the thing I knew I would miss most was Crystal’s friendship. Although miles separated us our friendship
did not fade-in a lot of ways it even grew stronger. I remember when Crystal was at home bonding
with her baby on adoption leave and how weird it felt to be at school without
her. When I shared I would be moving she
told me that she thought God had already been preparing us to be
separated. If we could teach without one
another next door we could make a long distance friendship work.
Luckily we found time together still even when living far
away. I flew back to watch a Judge
declare that Ivy Rose was a Dean on her adoption day. Bobby, Crystal and Ivy drove over to attend
Nathan’s first birthday party. We
vacationed together in San Diego-twice!
Went to Sea World and the beach. My
family flew back for Ivy’s 1st Birthday. Precious memories that I will not soon
forget. I just wish I had more
pictures-but we must have been having too much fun together (or truth be told
the cameras were pointed at our cute kids-not ourselves!)
When I learned that Crystal had gone to be with Jesus my
heart broke in two. My heart still hurts
but it is slowly healing. And that’s
only because I have a Father in Heaven who knows what it feels like to suffer
loss. And if you don’t know this Savior
I speak of personally-please contact me.
Crystal knew him intimately and is with Him even now.
I have received so many messages, texts and e-mails from
people sharing how much Crystal meant to them.
She truly made an impact while here on Earth and she will not be soon
forgotten. Crystal loved her Savior with
her whole heart. She chose to “Shine
Bright” for him here on Earth. I speak
with confidence when I say that I know I will see her again. But for now I find myself longing for a text
from heaven from my best friend, Crystal Dean.
