Thursday, March 29, 2012

24 Weeks


Sitting in a high chair for the first time at BJ's!

Proud Daddy's Ben and Tim with their sons Nathan and Callen!

No, Mommy, No!

Almost home from my first road trip!

Happy boy in his jumperoo!

Fun new Monkey PJs!

I'm ready for warmer weather in this tank top and shorts!
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Wednesday, March 28, 2012


I consider myself to be a pretty self-confident person.  
I have never struggled with self-worth or self-esteem...until now.  

Motherhood, as of late, has shaken me to the core.  I am constantly doubting myself, wondering if I'm doing right by Nathan. I feel guilty when I leave for school in the morning, leaving Ben to take care of Nathan all day by himself.  I feel guilty when I multi-task when Nathan is awake (i.e. folding laundry while he's doing tummy time on the carpet).  I feel guilty when he cries and I don't know what to do about it--or choose to ignore it because I think that may be the only solution.  I often wonder if our son loves my husband more than he loves me, since he spends so much more time with him.  I feel at times that being a Mom is my new insecurity--and it's a big one!  

Through talking with other Moms I've found I'm not alone, but I'm not sure that lessens the pain any.  Many of you have also shared that this guilt doesn't go away, but instead comes back in different forms throughout your child's life.  Not sure if I should be encouraged by this news, or depressed that so many of us struggle with many of the same issues!

I do know that I love and serve a God that is bigger than all my fears and insecurities.  And I am praying that He will give me strength when I do not have any left of my own...

Saturday, March 24, 2012


Nathan and Callen are exactly one month apart!  Nathan was born on October 13th and Callen was born on November 13th.  They got to meet for the first time this week.  What fun it was to watch them check each other out and crack each other up! 
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Thursday, March 22, 2012

Dear Nathan,

Daddy and I have discovered that when you get super tired you also get super silly.  You laugh at almost anything and can not stop wiggling!  It's pretty funny to watch!  I can only imagine how you'll be as a little boy when you're tired.  We sure do love discovering all of your little quirks!  Love you Son!


23 Weeks


More laughing!

I love my rice cereal!

My "on the loose" sticker is missing from my DOC Band because I pulled it off in my crib! 

Lovin' on the hungry caterpillar!

Taking a cat nap with Mommy before boarding the plane for his first flight!

This stuff is really good!

Hanging out on Grandma's couch

Visiting Grandma in her classroom at school

He's official with a visitor sticker and everything!

Hanging with Daddy in Grandma's Classroom

Taking a bath in Grandma's was pretty slippery!

Girls would kill for those eyelashes!

Daddy and Nathan time!  When Mommy tries this all she gets is her hair pulled!

Practicing sitting up on Daddy's tummy

Talking a walk at Grandma's

Happy boy! 

My 2 Men! 
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Thursday, March 15, 2012

22 weeks

Ready for bath time!

My Bumbo has a tray now!

Love this open mouth smile!

Love these eyelashes and cheeks!

What a cute pout face!

Trying out my big boy convertible car seat!

Ready for Church!

Sitting in the pew at church listening to Pastor Preach

That's right, I'm cute!

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Love this little man!

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Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Dear Nathan,

Today we moved you into a new car seat!  You look so cute riding in it--but it makes me a little sad because you're growing up too fast!  I hope you enjoy your new view--especially since you'll be going on your first road trip to California soon!


A Special Friend

Four school years ago I transferred to a new district, new school and new grade level (I know, a lot in one year, right?!) and met a girl named Crystal.  If you ask her to this day she'll tell you when she first met me she thought I was pretty weird!  I'm glad my "weirdness" faded because I don't know where I would be without this special friend!

Early on in the school year we connected.  First we started planning together.  Then we slowly started sharing bits and pieces of our lives with one another.  I remember her telling me how excited she was about her relationship with God that had only recently been taken to a deeper level.  I also remember sharing how Ben and I had been trying to get pregnant for six months.  When Crystal and her husband started the process of trying to start a family and had difficulty as well, our bond only grew stronger. 

Our playground and recess duty together became a time for us to share our struggles and hearts with one another.  We also found time outside of school together.  We started a tradition of holiday baking that I'm proud to say is still going strong four years later!  

As our battle with infertility continued Crystal was there for me in a way that a lot of other friends could not be--since she also was struggling with the same thing!  When friends all around us continued to get pregnant with little or no effort we relied on each other for support.  

I still remember the day when Crystal announced that she was going to start the adoption process--she didn't know when--but she felt at peace with her decision and excited too!  Ben and I were also considering adoption at that point but I didn't have a peace about it like Crystal did.  It wasn't until I hit rock bottom after the announcement of another friend's pregnancy that I was at peace about starting the adoption process in hopes of growing our family.

Ben and I started the adoption process in March of 2011 and Crystal and Bobby started just a few short months later in June.  

Crystal and I have often remarked how God knew what he was doing when he brought us together.  We've been able to walk the lonely road of infertility together and now...I am excited to announce...we are also able to walk the road of motherhood together!  Just this last week Bobby and Crystal received a call that their little girl was here!  In a very similar situation to ours Bobby and Crystal got a call from the adoption agency we both used saying a woman had given birth and wanted to place her baby for adoption.  I am so excited for my dear and close friend!  

I have been a roller coaster of emotions (sadly to say PMS is probably mostly to blame) this past week as I have been able to watch my friend experience the joy of becoming a Mommy.  I don't think I even cried this much when we received Nathan!  There's just something different about watching an adoption take place from an outsider's perspective.  God is so amazing in how he orchestrates these events with such precision and grace! I have been in awe of how he is working in the lives of my friend and this precious baby girl that is now becoming a part of their family!

I love you so much Crystal and thank God daily for our friendship!  

If you'd like to follow Crystal and Bobby's adoption journey you can check out their blog:  No Handlebars

Here's a picture of Crystal and I...holding our babies with pride!