Unintentional

Infertility hurts.  I've learned this the hard way and just when I think it's not going to hurt anymore, it does.  I think one of the hardest things about the hurts of infertility is the fact that no one is trying to hurt you on purpose. 

A pregnant mom doesn't realize that her complaints about pregnancy can hurt someone who has longed her whole life to carry a baby inside her.  A young married couple caught off guard by a surprise pregnancy doesn't realize that it hurts when they say they didn't even have to try.  A mother with a car full of children doesn't realize it hurts when she says she wishes she would have stopped at one, two or three.  An older man or woman doesn't realize that it hurts when you ask (with a sense of urgency) when you're next child is coming.  A mother with biological children doesn't realize that it hurts when they insist I'll get pregnant now that I've adopted a baby of my own. 

I am not a person to hold grudges.  I don't consider myself to be spiteful or mean spirited.  But sometimes I find it harder to forgive someone and brush their comments aside when they don't even realize how insensitive their comments sound to someone who has struggled with infertility or lost a baby.  

Thankfully I have people in my life to turn to who know exactly how I feel and more importantly a God who loves me despite my misgivings.  And it is only with the help of a Savior that I can find the strength to forgive and then find rest in the peace and grace He offers.