Our First Class!

Ben and I had our first class last night.  A lot of information was given out, some of it kind of scary!  Ben and I were thankful we had talked to friends beforehand who went through the adoption process themselves. We didn't feel as overwhelmed as some of the other couples looked! We covered a lot of topics: 

When a birthmom gives her consent for her baby to be adopted she doesn't do so until at least 72 hours after the birth and she can't be on any pain meds.  A lot of times it takes longer for her to sign, especially if she's had a c-section.  The agency has to do everything possible to locate all possible birth fathers as well since they have a right to parent their child.  I like the fact that they do this--can you imagine being a Dad and never knowing about it?! Even though a birth mom might be 100% sure she wants to give her baby up for adoption before the delivery, the agency warned us that everything can change once the baby comes.  This scares me a little but the agency also said that when a birthmom struggles with her decision it's a good thing because it means she's bonded with baby and is attached.  Bonded and attached babies are healthy babies!  I had never though about this before and it really reassured me. 

I got to thinking a lot about the birth family in class.  Although I really want a child and haven't been able to conceive I also need to put myself in the birthmom's shoes.  She is having a child but isn't able to parent her own child--that's a lot to deal with!  She may have wanted to have kids, but just not this early.  The agency talked about how when the baby is born the most important thing we need to remember is to be flexible.  Although this is an exciting time for us, it's a heartbreaking time for the birth mom.

Because our agency endorses open adoptions they talked about covenants, or agreements, that are made between the birth family and adoptive families.  The covenant specifies the type and frequency of visits once the baby is adopted.   They urged us to make these covenants with the birth family before the baby is born, if possible.

They also talked about what happens once we are in the matchbook.  A birth mom is given a book to look through with profiles that match her baby and situation.  For instance we are open to adopting a baby of any race--but if someone only wants a Caucasian baby and the mom is Hispanic, their profile would not be included in the ones the birth mom looks through.  Once she finds a match letter she likes a match meeting is set up.  When that match meeting is set up they call us with all the details about the baby and birth mom and let us decide if we want to meet or not.  Once we meet they make us wait for 24 hours before deciding if we want to go forward with working with the birth mom or not.  Although our profile indicates what kind of child we would like, they sometimes will present us with situations that do not match our profile but we will always have the right to turn down the match if we are not comfortable.

They did talk about the fact that, in rare cases, a birthmom changes her mind and even after you've taken the baby home (but consents have not been signed) the baby must be returned.  Although this is hard to think about, it may very well be reality for us one day.  I've chosen not to worry about it but trust that the Lord knows EXACTLY what he is doing! 

I'm sure there's more information they covered that I didn't mention above but my brain is on information overload.  Hopefully this gives you a glimpse of what we are learning and processing and can direct you specifically how to pray for us! 

Thanks for your support everyone!