Open Not Closed

Many of your following our blog know that our goal is to have an open adoption.  An open adoption looks different from family to family.  Some open adoptions only share pictures, letters and e-mails.  Other open adoptions have face to face meetings.

It is our hope that we have an open and close relationship with our child's birth family.  They will have the answers to so many questions that we don't about the child's heritage.  It will also help our child as they form their identity.  They'll be able to know who they look like and what traits they inherited. 

I recently subscribed to Adoptive Families Magazine and in the June Issue (I'm just now catching up on my reading) had an article called "The Other Mother".  In the article a birth mom and adoptive mom talk openly about open adoption.  They answered questions like:

Were you ever jealous of your child's other mother?

How different might your child be had he grown up in his birth family?

What challenges has open adoption posed for you?

How would your adoption be different if it were not open?

I was really struck by the birth mother's answer to the last question.  She said, and I quote,

"I chose open adoption for my child to give our relationship a beginning, not an end--to say, I cannot raise you, but I will never leave you".

I love that!  Open adoption is the start to a beautiful story...not the end!  A birth mother loves her child enough to say I want something better or (not to sound arrogant) more stable.

If you are in the process of adopting, or already have adopted children, I highly suggest you subscribe to this magazine!  This article was only one of many that hit home.