Giving Birth?
Breastfeeding?
I used to think that's what defined a Mother.
But now I call myself a Mother yet I didn't give birth, nor did I breastfeed. A close friend and I were talking this morning about how although we both are Moms (by way of adoption) we still feel left out of the Mom loop at times. When Moms sit around and talk about how long they were in labor or how long they chose to breastfed their child I cannot chime in. However, when we first brought Nathan home I remember being grateful that I didn't have a labor and delivery to recover from--taking care of him around the clock was tiring enough!
I guess what this all narrows down to is that although I am a Mom I am still infertile. And infertility hurts. I used to think that once I finally held a baby in my arms (that belonged to me and no one else!) that all the pain would go away. But it has a way of sneaking up on me--literally out of the blue at times. There was a time in my life that I cried at every pregnancy announcement and had trouble attending baby showers. I am now able to handle these situations much better but I do find myself a little taken back when friends and family announce they are pregnant with their second child or bring their second child home. Will I ever be a Mother to two kids? Will I ever be a family of 4 (or more for that matter?!)
This post takes me back to a story we heard in our adoption certification classes. You can read the original post here. The reality of it is, the pain of infertility never really goes away. I am in no way walking around in a state of depression--but some days are just harder than others. However I am not without hope! I serve a God and Savior who loves me and has given me amazing friends and family to help me through this journey called life! Amen?!
