When is the right time to give away baby stuff? Such a simple question--but so complicated too. By getting rid of old baby clothes, accessories and toys it's like I'm saying, out loud, that our family is complete. But is it? Do I want it to be? By not holding onto those tiny baby clothes and toys reality comes crashing down that there may never be another baby in our family.
Although we haven't been "trying" to get pregnant for quite awhile it has been five years since we knowingly were preventing pregnancy. So many people (many who have never experienced infertility themselves) will tell you once you stop trying, or just relax, or stop thinking about it--then it will happen. Easier said then done. In no way would I lead you to believe that each month I am still in agony when my period comes. But the thought of becoming pregnant is always there...like a flame on a candle that hasn't been extinguished.
Although I have been told that the pain of infertility never goes away it's always hard when that pain catches me by surprise. I'm a person who prides herself on being prepared. And when I'm not prepared and the pain sneaks up on me--it often takes my breath away and strikes me the hardest.
In the midst of this pain I'm grateful for a Savior who loves me and has experienced a pain far deeper than I could ever imagine--all for the sake of having a relationship with me for eternity.
