A setback

Now that we are certified and waiting we gets lots of questions, sometimes on a daily basis:

How's the adoption going?
Any news?
Have you gotten any calls?
When is the baby coming?
Are you having a boy or a girl?
What will you name the child?

Although I appreciate people's interest I don't always have an answer to the many questions asked of me.  The truth is we don't know when baby is coming.  We aren't sure if it will be a boy or a girl.  And if we do get a call I'm not sure how many people I will want to tell at first (just being honest!)  And as far as names go we aren't sure what we want to name baby since we don't know what birth mom has planned for a name. 

Things have been on autopilot as of late. I've been busy at school (two phrases: first quarter & kindergarten!) and Ben has more on his plate at church with our senior pastor on sabbatical.  The busyness of life has helped keep my mind off the inevitable: we could be parents in the next hour, day, week, or month!

Today we received some bad news: we did not get approved for the interest free loan for our adoption like we were hoping.  We met the qualifications, but the company is limited in how many loans they can fund.  We have raised around $5,000 but still are about $9,000 short of what we will need to pay once we receive placement.  I know God has a plan but it's hard to stay hopeful at this point.  With everything in life being so crazy right now the last thing I have time for is to research (and fill out!) more loan and grant applications.  As far as fundraising goes I have been overwhelmed with the outpouring of support we have received--the last thing I want to do is ask for more $!

So as I bring this post to a close I would ask for your support and prayers.  I don't know how comfortable I feel being available to birth families if we don't have funding lined up to pay.  Do we put ourselves on hold?  Do we continue to trust that God will provide somehow, someway?  It's a lot to handle and consider at this point...