Even though I now have much to say when it comes to the topic of motherhood there are times when I still feel left out of a conversation: I have no idea what it feels like to give birth or go through labor (According to some I should call myself blessed! Ha!) I don't know what it feels like to breastfeed a child. I didn't get to watch Nathan grow inside my belly or kick me from the inside out.
Recently I was listening to a discussion about whether Moms felt like their families were complete or if they still wanted to add to their family. I again found myself doing a lot more listening then talking. Once upon a time I dreamed of having 3-4 children evenly spaced out over a matter of years. In reality however, Ben and I do not get to choose when our next child will arrive. We don't know if and when we will add another child to our family. Although I don't feel "done", in a lot of ways I also don't feel like I have control over when we will be "done" either.
Currently we are having some tests done to explore the deeper reasons behind our infertility. It may lead us to exploring more options of carrying our own biological child. Or it may lead to us closing the door indefinitely. Because these tests take awhile to complete I find myself growing impatient. I want to add to our family now. In fact I wanted to add to it yesterday. It's hard to contemplate having to wait much longer especially when every day a certain little boy in our lives is growing up more and more! We also aren't turned off to the idea of adopting again. But that also takes time.
In this season of life I'm trying to remember and reflect on the current blessings in life but also am praying about the next blessing that one day I hope to add to our family.
Hi Alisha,
ReplyDeleteI found you through the 14 Days of Love giveaway a couple months ago (I remember seeing your sweet family picture). I meant to reach out then, but time got away from me. When I read this I knew I had to connect in some way! My heart immediately went out to you because I know EXACTLY how you feel. Exactly. My husband and I are currently fostering to adopt three siblings and have been trying to get pregnant the last four years. Have you heard of the Choose Joy Event? This is my first year going and I've heard nothing but amazing things. It would be a great way for you to connect with women that are all experiencing the same feelings and emotions. I just realized we live in the same town. Anyway, I am here in any way if you need someone who gets what you are going through. I know we don't know each other, but the bond of adoption is a powerful thing :)
XOXO
Thanks for your comment Lidy! And thanks for your understanding! There are few women out there who get it, I am lucky to have some close friends who also chose to adopt due to infertility, I thank God for their support everyday! I will have to look into the event you mentioned, it sounds cool!
DeleteI checked into the choose joy event. My husband and I are going to go! I'm excited!
DeleteI am so excited - yay! If you guys are comfortable, we could even meet up (before or at the conference)! Unfortunately, my hubby can't make it - he will be staying home and watching our kids. I have to say, some of the deepest relationships are the ones that I have made through this whole journey and experience. We also attend an amazing adoption support group through Koinonia, which has helped us out in so many ways. I am so happy we got to connect!
DeleteThat would be fun to meet up! I noticed in the schedule of events there is time for a break and shopping etc. Let's meet up then! Send me an e-mail at: alishalikestoteach@yahoo.com and I'll give you my cell. We can text and find each other. :)
DeletePerfect! Will do :)
ReplyDeleteWas stalking your blog :) Trying to figure out best and fastest way to get pictures on mine w/captions. I remembered you put a lot of pictures on yours.
ReplyDeleteLOVED this post!