Motherhood

I consider myself to be a pretty self-confident person.  

I have never struggled with self-worth or self-esteem...until now.  

Motherhood, as of late, has shaken me to the core.  I am constantly doubting myself, wondering if I'm doing right by Nathan. I feel guilty when I leave for school in the morning, leaving Ben to take care of Nathan all day by himself.  I feel guilty when I multi-task when Nathan is awake (i.e. folding laundry while he's doing tummy time on the carpet).  I feel guilty when he cries and I don't know what to do about it--or choose to ignore it because I think that may be the only solution.  I often wonder if our son loves my husband more than he loves me, since he spends so much more time with him.  I feel at times that being a Mom is my new insecurity--and it's a big one!  

Through talking with other Moms I've found I'm not alone, but I'm not sure that lessens the pain any.  Many of you have also shared that this guilt doesn't go away, but instead comes back in different forms throughout your child's life.  Not sure if I should be encouraged by this news, or depressed that so many of us struggle with many of the same issues!

I do know that I love and serve a God that is bigger than all my fears and insecurities.  And I am praying that He will give me strength when I do not have any left of my own...