The Bits and Pieces

Here's the bits and pieces of everything we were doing and thinking and going through when we got the call to go meet Nathan:

Where?

I (Alisha) was in the middle of giving a presentation on classroom management for a college course.  I happened to check my phone in between the two classes and saw an e-mail from our adoption caseworker, text messages from Ben and a missed call from Ben.  The professor I was working with (also one of my parents this year) asked me what was going on and I told her that the adoption agency was trying to get a hold of me concerning a baby boy!  I quickly called Ben--I don't really remember all that I said.  He kept asking should we go?  Should we see him?  I told him I couldn't think and needed to get through my next presentation first.  In one of his text messages he even joked saying "were you serious about naming our son Dolvett (after one of the new trainers on Biggest Loser this season).  My main concern, although I wanted to meet this little guy, was that we still didn't have finances lined up for our placement fee.  Should we be going to see him if that wasn't worked out?!

Ben was at church getting ready for his college group that evening.  He had missed a call from our caseworker and listened to a voicemail that said she had something urgent to speak to us about.  When talking to the caseworker Ben learned our baby boy was very healthy but the only concern was that Birth Dad was out of the picture.  He told her he would need to talk to me first.  Of course I wasn't available except for the short conversation we had.  His mind was mush at that point.  He sat in his car at church (his phone needed to be charged) frantically thinking who he should call for advice.  He texted a close friend who also had adopted a baby.  He then called our caseworker back expressing our concern about finances.

Ben decided to drive home so he would be there when I got done speaking at my class.  By the time I called him saying I was on my way home he had talked to our caseworker and we decided that although finances weren't lined up, we needed to meet this baby boy, and leave the rest up to God.  Although there was a risk with Birth Dad still needing to be found, we felt like we still needed to go.

At Home...

I got home and immediately went into the baby's room and started getting a diaper bag ready.  I had a few onesies, but nothing really tiny so I put a little of everything in the bag.  I grabbed bottles and pacifiers.  I didn't grab one of our slings--although I wish I would have!  Then I started packing a bag.  We had only returned from being out of town the night before so some stuff was ready to go.  Ben decided to share a bag with me (we NEVER share a bag!)  He started throwing clothes in...then would walk away...then would walk back and finally said, "What am I doing?!"  We were both a little frazzled at that point. We grabbed our cameras and our cell phone chargers (Thank God for those--our phones were in constant need of charging--gotta love androids!) 

Who we talked to...

Once I talked to Ben I called my Mom and started crying saying we got a call and we were going to Tucson.  Lots of blubbering, mostly incoherent I'm sure.  I then called one of my best friends, Crystal--of course she didn't answer right away.  But when I talked to her I couldn't stop crying either.  Was this really happening?  Were we going to Tucson to pick up a baby?  To meet him?  To become his parents?!

Ben ended up talking to Erik, a friend who had moved away awhile back.  He was the one who encouraged Ben that if we really had faith in God's plan, why weren't we trusting that he had brought this baby to our attention for a reason?  He also talked to Kurtis, another youth pastor who has also gone through the adoption process.  Kurtis encouraged Ben, told him how excited he was for us and prayed over Ben and our situation

On the road...

Once we were finally packed and ready to go it was 6:30.  We stopped for gas.  Went to Rubio's and grabbed dinner on the go (Where else would we go?!)  And started off for Tucson.  It was the longest and shortest drive of our lives.  We didn't know what to expect.  Would we meet this boy and fall in love?  Would we go back home empty handed?  There was so much we didn't know...

At the hospital...

We got there at 8:45 and the pregnancy worker met us at 9.  We talked for a few minutes in the lobby about Nathan, Birth Mom and Birth Dad.  We learned then that we wouldn't be meeting Mom at all and that she hadn't held or seen Nathan since birth.  It was then when she asked about names.  (Oh and that's something we talked about in the car.  We've always liked Nathan and the nickname Nate.  We know a lot of Nathan's.  And I've had a few kids in my classes over the year named Nathan too.  If you're a teacher you've had a few names ruined for you--but not this one!  We also talked about his middle name--we liked Carlyle because he would be named after his Great Grandpa.  But we also weren't sure if Birth Mom had picked out a name and possibly wanted to include that as his middle name)  Anyways she then explained how things are tricky for adoptive parents--we wouldn't get an arm band to match baby's at this point and they didn't have a room for us to stay in either.  When we got to the NICU (Nathan was completely healthy but since most baby's stay with their moms and Nate didn't have that option this is where he was kept) we just stared at him taking him all in.  The pregnancy worked walked in and couldn't believe one of us wasn't holding him yet!  We held him, changed his diaper and fed him.

I had always prepared myself to guard my heart assuming Birth Mom would be there with us and still deciding whether she would keep her baby or not.  This was so different!  Birth Mom hadn't named Nathan or held him.  It was like he was ours right from the beginning...but yet it still didn't feel like he was really ours just yet!

We stayed at the hospital until 11:00.  Since there wasn't a place to stay with Nathan the pregnancy worker encouraged us to get one last night of sleep (yeah, right!).  We found a hotel, paid in cash (Are you proud Dave Ramsey?) and settled in.  I had originally wanted to run to Wal Mart to find something to take Nathan home in--but we decided to save that for the morning.  I tossed and turned all night--mostly thinking about stuff I should have brought or needed at home for Nate!

We woke up, grabbed some free breakfast from the hotel, and went to Wal Mart.  Nothing against Wal Mart and those who shop their frequently, but I hadn't pictured myself purchasing my child's going home outfit from this establishment.  Oh and this may be too much information for some of you but I have to record it for posterity: I also had to pick up tampons at Wal Mart.  Of all days!!!  The whole time we were there Ben was on the phone with the insurance adjustor.  Yes just the day before we had been rear ended on our way home from vacation.  The adjustor was calling on behalf of the person who hit us.  Ben had to keep apologizing saying how frazzled he was since we just had become parents!  I longingly looked at Kohl's hoping to stop in before going to the hospital, but they didn't open until 8 and that's when we wanted to arrive.  Oh and one more thing...I had a mini meltdown in the hotel because I forgot....of all things...my make-up!  I survived but I was not happy about it in the beginning!

We arrived at the hospital and spent the whole day with Nathan in the NICU.  They cleared out the isolation room so we could have some space.  I reminded the nurse's that I had no idea what I was doing so please feel free to step in and help!  We had our laptops out along with our cell phones and made Nathan's arrival FBO (face book official!).  We met with the pediatrician who declared him to be a healthy baby boy.  We called our insurance to get the process started of adding Nathan to our policy.  We made his doctor's appointment for Monday.  I had already been in touch with my long term substitute on the way to the hospital the night before to make sure she'd be ready to go this week--God definitely had a hand in that one!  On a side note I had starting looking for long term subs at the very beginning of the school year.  I found one I loved but she then got a job at a different school for the first quarter.  I touched base with her at the beginning of the Fall break and that's when she told me she would be available for 2nd quarter, but not 3rd.  And when did Nate come?!  At the beginning of 2nd quarter!  Thank you Jesus!  I called my principal to tell her the news.  We had subway for lunch.  We changed diapers and fed Nathan.  Ben changed his first dirty (and when I say dirty I mean dirty!) diaper and survived.  And then we waited...and waited...and waited...

Because we are not officially Nathan's adoptive parents (Birth Mom has to sign consent forms still) he has to be released to our agency.  Thus we could not leave until our pregnancy worker had arrived.  (She was on another call two hours away).  She arrived and signed all the paperwork.  We didn't get copies of his medical records because birth mom's information was on it--so we'll get that later once that part has been taken off.  At 5:30 we were on our way home...of course we then started freaking out that Nathan would not last for the two hour drive without needing to be fed.  So we decided to stop for food (can you guess where we stopped--Rubio's of course!)  Between bites of burrito we fed Nathan and got compliments and stares.  We finally arrived home at 8:00 to find our home decorated welcoming Nathan home.  (Thank you Greg and family!)

Wow did I ramble through this post...it must be because I didn't get much sleep last night!  It was all worth it Nathan!!!!