Thank you, but...

One of the things I was looking forward to (or at least thought I would find amusing) is the comments about how great I look for having a newborn baby.  Well I have received several of these comments, from mostly perfect strangers, and I'm not quite enjoying the comments like I thought I would.  Okay I take that back--I may be enjoying the compliments--but when they are followed with minute long stares (normally with eyes scanning my body up and down, transferring to Nathan, and then back to my body) that's where my enjoyment ends. 

Don't get me wrong--I appreciate everyone saying how great I look but with every comment I feel the need to explain we adopted.  I am not ashamed of our adoption or embarrassed.  But one day soon when Nathan understands how he came to be part of our family, I want it to be up to him with who he shares his story with--not me. 

With Nathan being so little, it is up to Ben and I's discretion whether we want to share his story or not.  I don't want to lie.  Or make other postpartum moms out there feel bad for still having a tummy.  But I also want to respect  my son's privacy too.  For the most part we have been very open about our adoption--especially with friends and family.  But in no way do I want to put a sign on our son's car seat saying "I'm adopted" either. 

Something else, that I was warned about, was the fact that with every comment about how great I look I'm also reminded of my own infertility.  Nathan did not come from my womb.  He was not conceived by Ben and I.  Thus I do not have a tummy therefore giving evidence of his birth.  This doesn't make me love him any less.  But infertility will always have it's hurts and stings here and there throughout my life...