Now I know...

Now I know (okay sort of know!) why so many Mommas cry when they are first holding their sons and daughters.  I didn't cry the first time I held Nathan but I have been doing a lot of crying this evening.  Tonight we learned that Nathan's Birth Mom officially gave her consent to place Nathan for adoption.  He is officially ours! 

Words cannot describe the emotions Ben and I are experiencing.  A young woman, only 22 years old, with one child at home, chose to place her son who she lovingly carried for nine months in our arms!  This woman left the hospital less than 24 hours after the birth of her son.  She is going back to work less than a week after giving birth.  I am amazed.  In awe.  And I can't quite describe how I feel.  We were able to give a small gift to Nathan's birth mom and write a letter to her, thanking her for giving us her son.  We weren't sure when we purchased the gift or wrote the letter if she would even accept it.  But she did!  When the pregnancy counselor told her how grateful we were to have Nathan at home with us she cried and then beamed when she learned his name and our name and what our occupations are. 

Those of you outside of adoption may not understand why we long to know Nathan's birth mom and be a part of her life and I don't know if I'll ever be able to fully explain it to you.  But we believe that God creates in everyone a desire to know where they came from and who they came from.  It's something He's woven inside of us from the very beginning.  By having an open relationship with Nate's birth mom we hope to provide this for our son.   Although birth mom hasn't agreed to meet with us or contact us yet we feel the information she received tonight and agreed to provide for us (in the form of medical/social history) is a huge first step. 

Please Praise God with us for this amazing gift!